I think most of us have felt this many times - perhaps because it's actually our default response.
Our brains are wired to prioritize threats, and social rejection can easily be interpreted as one. What makes the difference is learning to break out of that default reaction, which often requires energy, self-esteem, and a clear sense of purpose.
From my own experience, I can add another perspective: sometimes I hold back not out of fear of judgment, but for reasons that might be mistaken for it.
One thing that has always worked for me is asking: "How important is this topic, discussion, or debate?"
If it truly matters, that sense of purpose gives me energy - and when purpose is strong, fear tends to fade (and this is also how tackle fear of judgment by the way).
If it's not that important, I prefer to save my energy and focus on listening and learning instead.
There's also another situation that can look like fear of judgment but isn't - it's simply about curating the value of one's contribution. This reminds me of an old saying:
"Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates:
Is it true?
Is it necessary?
Is it kind?"
In conclusion, I sometimes have to look back and reflect on what really held me back:
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A lack of interest, energy, or purpose?
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The perception that I wasn't adding value (and chose instead to observe and learn)?
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Or a genuine fear of judgment - which then deserves to be addressed?
Cheers
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João Caldas
Managing Partner
Innovunity
+351965351841
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Original Message:
Sent: 09-10-2025 21:10
From: Luís Monteiro
Subject: The fear of judgement!
Ever held back as you feared that what you are thinking of doing might be judged? Did you hesitate to ask a question, worried it would make you sound unprepared, or even stupid?
There are millions of people like us out there! :)
The fear of judgement is one of the most common barriers at work, and it clearly impacts our personal and professional life.
It shows up as silence in meetings, or even by a sense of over-preparing for any specific moment or presentation, or even by avoiding feedback altogether. It's rooted in our very human need to belong and be accepted.
How do you tackle the fear of being judged?
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Luís Monteiro
Passionate by leadership topics
Working @ Critical Software
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